Amidst a ripened teenage angst of 18 going on 30, I discovered the written word. To write and record my own history and experience became a political activity for me. Being 'punk' had less to do with how many colors my hair went through and everything to do with communication and survival on this planet without losing my mind. Love Like Rage has been an exorcism in the combination of my chapbooks, So Much For Passion (1990) and She Knew Better (1992), and various new poems.

Let tenderness prevail in the blackest hour of cynicism, or there will be nothing left of my generation.

 

MR. INSECURITY   He mixes an attitude  with a slice of ego  and calls all the shots. Belly full of himself  and the horseshit he rode in on I play along observant observer, distancing myself  just close enough  to see his mask slip, because every girl knows that looks aren't everything. Ulterior motives  like tricks shoved up his sleeves  that he shows off with pride And I start to wonder what kind of guy  fucks women  and then talks total shit about them what kind of person  can't admit to his own game-playing Men are so predictable. And he's got it all figured out,  whatever 'it' is. A brick wall like a blank stare  it was a long time ago  but she hurt him real bad  she sunk her white teeth    into his fragile ego and now every woman on the planet is gonna pay for it.

So Mr. Attitude himself waltzes in and lays down all the rules cause he can never lose in their eyes. Of course,  I have power and mystique  shoved down my pants  and I can get myself off  because I know             he'll never find             what he's looking for And I just feel so goddamn smug. He's paid a heavy price  forgetting who he is  or how to cry  or how to reach out to others he'll never know what's out there because he's too busy  playing the part  just like everyone else does  and he's got everyone fooled,  including himself except me, I'm not really in the picture he's discarded friendship with women  a long time ago and since I'll never fuck him  he's got nothin' on me. And I only have one question for men like you: what do you see that you can't have?

Reprinted without permission from Love Like Rage, copyright 1994 Wendy-O Matik. published by manic d press.

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